Anyone reading this page, having experienced first hand the death of a loved one, will know that everyone deals with death in their own way and in their own time. There is no right or wrong way of how you should behave. My mother's death made me feel like a child again, it made me feel completely and utterly helpless and there was nothing that anyone could say or do that would make me feel any better. I had paranoid delusions, sleepless nights, nightmares, feeling complerely empty and lost, totally disorientated, depressed, guilt, bitterness, hatred, I hated her for leaving us and, I hated her because I thought she had given up and, then I felt guilty for feeling about her this way and after 7 months I finally accepted that she was gone. It took me two months to say that mum had died, before then I had simply dealt with it my saying she had passed away, or closed her eyes, I just couldn't say died. If I said that word, I would have to accept that she died that day and was never coming back. It took 2 months to say died, but I dealt with it like she was on a holiday and I was not accepting the truth, the reality. Death can rip families apart, death can bring families together, it is up to you as an individual to not take sides and to take a step back, because eventually people will find their own way, it just takes time. A very old friend once told me that time is not a great healer, and it is so true. It's just that in time we learn to accept things and talking about your loved one, without tears gets easier. it's not that time is a great healer, its just we have to give ourself time to accept the truth and learn to live with it somehow. The one thing that i learnt after my mother's death, is that we shouldn't fear death, it's the one thing we can be certain of, it happens to us all.